of criminals and obligation
if there are any criminal aspects to
be considered in my character or
personality they are few. they aren't
loud or daring, the sorts of things
serious or enthusiastic criminals would
take credit for: no assaults no murders
no stolen cars (although I did once enjoy
a very hyperactive & profitable summer
with my friend Casey in High School
shoplifting this medium-sized plaza
for just about anything a teenager
could stuff into a bookbag ...)
nor does my appearance inspire immediate concern,
sober, outrageously intoxicated or any of
the many, many stages in between: in my
private thoughts I demand a peculiar scrutiny
regardless of success/failure ratios
and likelihoods and reasonability and
so forth, but ... socially I am often docile
and quite willing to betray honor for
practical convenience ...
this to say: some dozen, give or take, open-
container tickets have been written in my
name, and a proportionate number of hours
have been spent by yours, truly in compact rooms
of justice mostly filled with the normal &
obedient (or at least presenting as) as we vary
our routine to preserve some larger order:
and in my voice I've heard the same lame words
that I've heard of others in that poor situation,
words of conformity to a half/logic,
brief monologue of an imbecile
to their accuser/protector:
yes, sir: all truth must live
in the shadows of lies and
mistruths
and misunderstandings.
yes, sir: our hands join to others, join to others
and our pledges grow even in the sins of
grief and worse
and yet we know
our stories because we have no other
choice
but to live them.
****
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