many squirrels call Poughkeepsie Mecca [and] 2Pac Biggie and Larry Flynt
many squirrels call Poughkeepsie Mecca
~
I endured the hopelessness & angst
of my 20s by moving about once
a year
until I actually thought I could
spend a considerable while, even years, further
as a man who earns his money from the
dirt & sunshine -- initially in Georgia --
until the creator of the Kenari
beverage flippantly, spitefully
turned me away from his doors (the
same year Up In The Air was
released as a film. ho ho ho.)
after a period of inordinately
depressing quality mostly
sleeping at my father's and
watching t.v./reading books
at my aunt's respective trailers,
I found myself with a couple lucky years
working about 50-60 hrs. a week
counting boxes of auto-
matically assembled goods and
stacking the boxes and monitoring
the machines for alarms.
and
another, part-time
job in a rather polite kitchen in a school
with coworkers who never spoke to me
as a drunk or habitual pothead.
it was a period of some memorable discipline:
nerve damage hadn't set its dirty fuckwaste
volition into those muscles, else
that
sweep from the eyes to the fingers
and
I tried to type up or improve
2 or 3 decent James Tate/
Charles Bukowski-flavored story poems
on a weekly basis.
don't ask me where they are, now.
maybe the brave, delighted squirrels
popping out of garbagecans, dumpsters,
crazy as snakes with surprising,
athlete limbs & paws, calm, no, serene
with the expanding derangement of
the universe
and its contents
could
tell you
what happened to those poems.
it's been at least 10 yrs. since any of this--
and I'll scribble more letters words letters sentences
on pages in light & dark & places inbetween
yet.
look: there's a squirrel asking if he can use your radio.
****
2Pac Biggie and Larry Flynt
~
blame the 1980s, maybe.
this sordid figure portending himself to
usefulness, or some visceral occupation of
body & movement
annoys and entertains me with violent things,
like celebrities and performers and rappers and
whatever other popular things
your crazy brain sees fit to include
in that.
Tupac Shakur (like you forgot) survived
the initial attempt/s on his dearly
valuable life and
(fucking) recorded music preserving such.
they say Biggie's enormous mass
provided a surplus of time
contained w/in it
what even 40 yrs. in another, say, whiter
person's body might promise.
and Larry Flynt felt a rifle
snap its contents
into his own large, spare
interiority... he survived because he'd been fasting:
a sandwich or a PopTart could
have separated him to the darkness.
it's not a coincidence that rappers
are called poets all difficult eloquent
expression depends on the sanity of the reader,
and in the algebra of our idiotic
compositions
a ruthless,
and sincere,
student of talent
counts every spectacle in the wind,
bullets included.
****
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